10 Ways to find Healing and Celebrate after your Breakup or Divorce
This isn’t news to anyone: breakups and divorce can be awful. Your world has completely changed and you might assume that nothing will ever be o.k. again. It can seem almost impossible that you will ever return back to your happy self. The end of a relationship can be traumatic and difficult to come to terms with. The healing process can be long and extremely challenging. Life has drastically changed and your path has taken a sudden turn.
It may sound cliche, but things happen for a reason. You might not understand why your breakup or divorce happened, but I guarantee that one day you will look back on the whole thing and understand exactly why you had to go through this, along with all of the pain and grief. Even if it seems impossible, I promise that you will feel joy again. You have no idea what beauty is waiting for you on this healing journey, just past grief.
Right now, you owe yourself time; the time to heal and the time to rediscover who you are. It’s absolutely imperative that you make healing a priority, especially now that you may be drowning in waves of grief and loss. Don’t get stuck just doing things that are band-aid solutions for your pain, like eating that tub of ice cream or drinking that extra glass of wine. You need to go out of your way to engage in significant activities that will help you heal and move forward. You need to make yourself, and self-love, a priority each and every day. Your mental health depends upon it.
I encourage you to not only heal from your breakup or divorce, but to actually celebrate! By finding ways to celebrate, you are honouring the relationship you had and also moving forward with a whole ton of self-love. While we’re in a relationship, we can forget the many perks of being independent. Becoming single again marks the beginning of a very interesting and exciting time. You have no idea what opportunities and adventures lay ahead. You need to celebrate this amazing new chapter that’s just starting.
When it comes to giving yourself a little TLC during this time of grief, here are my top 5 must-dos:
Take your dream trip
Book a boudoir photo shoot
Makeover your space
Overhaul your wardrobe
Date yourself once a week
Take your Dream Trip
What is the one place you’ve always dreamed you’d visit? Europe? Morocco? Thailand? There is no better way to kick-off your new single-life than with a fantastic trip to a place you’ve always dreamed about! Travelling not only helps you get over any residual feelings you still have for your relationship, it also helps you grow and heal in ways you never anticipated. Even if you need to live frugally for awhile and make some changes to your life to make traveling happen, it’s so important that you find a way to make your dream trip a reality. A bit nervous about solo-travel or need some travel advice? Check out the article, Top 10 Travel Tips.
2. Book a Boudoir Photo Shoot
A breakup or divorce can seriously affect your self-esteem. You may feel uncomfortable in your own skin for awhile. You may feel unsure about possibly opening yourself up to another relationship or just dating, in general. A boudoir photo shoot is a perfect way to remind yourself that you are a Goddess! First of all, it will get you out there shopping for new lingerie, which all women should treat themselves too (especially women who are newly single). Secondly, the shoot will be professionally styled and shot so that you’ll look and feel absolutely amazing! Most photographers have makeup and hair stylists they bring in to help you look and feel your absolute best.
If you aren’t comfortable doing a boudoir photo shoot, it’s still a good idea to book a professional photo shoot. Why not get some amazing pictures of your gorgeous new single-self? You are starting an exciting chapter in your life and you need to celebrate! Before booking anything, you should do a bit of shopping around. Google photographers in your area and see what comes up. Typically, photographers have a website, blog or Instagram account. Make sure to look at their portfolios before making any decisions. You may love the style of one photographer; however, you may find, after some research, that you LOVE the style of another photographer (and there is a difference between love and LOVE).
Don’t be afraid to splurge a little for the best photographer. There’s no reason you should skimp on this. The proof of your investment will be in the finished photos. You have been through a lot and you may only do this once. It’s time to treat yourself!
3. Makeover your Space
Whenever you go through a significant life transition, it’s always a good idea to consider your space and what items no longer serve you. We connect a lot of memories and emotions to things. There’s no need to hang onto any item or any piece of furniture that doesn’t bring you joy. Items take up a surprising amount of emotional space. When you discard things, you make room for not only new things to enter your life, but also new experiences and people.
During your home makeover, keep in mind that you no longer have to consider the decorating tastes of your ex. You can buy whatever you like and decorate your space to suit your style. Your space can truly reflect your tastes and be your sanctuary. Don’t be afraid to move furniture around in a completely different way than you're used to. This is a chance to be open-minded, creative and to create the home of your dreams.
4. Overhaul your Wardrobe
The end of a relationship is the perfect time to consider your wardrobe. Clothes can really impact our self-esteem. Are your clothes in style or has their time passed? Are you wearing things that fit correctly? Has that favourite tee-shirt seen better days? Does that dress flatter your body? Why are you still holding onto that pair of jeans from high school? Anything that doesn’t fit, is out-of-style, or no longer makes you feel beautiful needs to go! There is no reason to hang onto anything that no longer serves you. Make the toss, donate, and keep piles and be ruthless!
Once you’ve sorted through all of your clothes, it’s time to get shopping. You’re going to need new outfits for your fabulous new single-life. You may want to pick up new pieces for dating, going out with friends, brunches, dinners, vacations, etc. You may want to consider hiring a stylist, even for an afternoon or a consultation. They might be able to point you in the right direction so that you only buy pieces that will make you look incredible. Your new wardrobe will help you feel stylish, confident and beautiful.
5. Date yourself once a Week
It’s very possible that you’re going to need a little bit of time to get to know yourself again, post breakup or divorce. Becoming single can awaken things inside ourselves that we never anticipated. The person we are after a breakup or divorce could be very different from the person we were in our former relationship. There is no better way to celebrate this exciting new chapter than by fully loving and appreciating the amazing person you are now that you’re on your own.
Make a commitment to date yourself once a week. This doesn’t have to be extravagant nights out. Dating yourself could be as simple as making your favourite meal once a week, enjoying an extra long bubble bath, watching your favourite movie, or spending a night with your girlfriends. Dating yourself will help you discover who you truly are and will usher in some serious joy. Hopefully you fall in love with yourself in a way you haven’t before.
On these nights, to help heal and show yourself self-love, say these truths to yourself:
I am a beautiful goddess worthy of joy
I am stronger than any struggle that comes my way
I am powerful
I deserve a beautiful life
I am not broken
This pain is temporary
I am free to create the life of my dreams
Remember: you are beautiful. You are strong. This is just one chapter in your incredible life. Your breakup or divorce happened for a reason that you might not even fully understand yet. You have no idea what opportunities and adventures await. Life will become beautiful. Joy will reveal itself.
You are deserving of the most incredible, beautiful, extraordinary life!
Want to learn 5 more things that can help you heal and move forward post breakup? Head over to my friend Shelley’s blog at Salty Sweet Seasons and read her 5 tips. Want a sneak peek at what she has to say? Here are the things she’s chatting about:
Go to therapy
Gain financial stability
Remove shared items
Exercise and eat nourishing foods
Pick up a new hobby, or get back into an old one
Here’s to every single woman who is on her own healing journey. Your strength and courage during this hard time makes the world a better place.
You are an inspiration to us all.